Geeked Out--A Lame New World Read online

  “Eating school lunch in here seems more terrifying than ever,” Xen said while shivering.

  We pushed the cabinet back into place to hide the opening. I was pretty happy with the fact that we now had a secret place that most people in our school didn’t know existed. In this day and age, anything secret was a bonus to survival. Of course our space had also been a source of ferocious canned spiders.

  “I don’t want to worry you guys,” Owen said. “But I think I might have eaten a couple of spiders by accident.”

  “It’s you who should be worried,” I said. “Let’s just hope they’re not poisonous. Any idea what kind of spiders they were, Mindy?”

  Mindy is an expert on all things bug. She likes them way more than any other person I know. She’s the top student in our Bug Awareness class. Plus, she has an extensive worm-fly hybrid collection and also raises beetles in her beetle farm.

  “I don’t know exactly what kind of spiders those were,” she admitted. “They looked like a steel-wolf spider variety, but they were covered in ooze.”

  Mindy crouched down and studied one of the flattened spiders on the ground.

  “It’s too smooshed to tell for sure,” she reported. “Do you think they’ve been living in that can for thirty years?”

  “Maybe they’re some sort of arachnid that goes dormant,” Xen suggested. “Arachnids that only come to life when a certain knucklehead bangs open their can with a rock and lets air in.”

  “Sorry,” Owen whined.

  In the distance, Finn the school crier began to cry out.

  I heard students outside the cafeteria exiting their classes and leaving the campus for the day. We decided to just go with Owen’s plan and stay hidden in the kitchen and wait out the crowd. It would be much safer for us to leave after everyone was gone. While we were waiting, Principal Woth finally came slinking out of the pantry.

  “Has everyone left for the day?” he asked.

  “I think so,” I answered. “Oh, and thanks for not ratting us out.”

  “I would have, if it got ugly,” he said with a wink.

  Principal Woth was spineless. He left the kitchen and vanished into the dark cafeteria. I took a minute to sigh out of frustration and all three of my friends did the same.

  “This was a sucky day,” I said needlessly. “It was supposed to be our day to make a point—Geeks united. Instead we were greased up, covered in paper, chased, bitten by angry spiders, and left to cower in the kitchen.”

  “Overall, not that surprising,” Xen said.

  “I agree with Xen,” Owen said. “This is pretty much how our lives have been all year.”

  “You know tomorrow’s not going to be any better,” Mindy pointed out. “Everyone will still want to knock us down. Just because we got away today doesn’t mean we’re out of the woods.”

  “Mindy’s right,” Xen said. “I suggest we all go home and submit our names for attendance at some other middle school outpost. And then maybe, just maybe, one day we’ll be able to live normal lives again.”

  I shivered as a strange and unfamiliar feeling ran down my spine through my legs and up my arms. My head suddenly felt heavy and started to throb like elfin drumbeats.

  “I think I need to get home,” I said seriously. “I don’t feel so good.”

  The feeling rocked my body again. This time my fingers went numb and my toenails felt like they had low-voltage electricity buzzing beneath them.

  “I…” My mouth locked up.

  “Are you okay, Tip?” Mindy asked. “You don’t look so good. Actually, I don’t feel too well myself.”

  “Those spiders,” Xen gasped. “They must have been poisonous!” He bent over and started to dry heave.

  “That’s not good,” Owen said. He began to breathe hard. “Maybe it wasn’t spiders. Maybe it was that grease. It soaked into our skin, and now it’s making us sick.”

  Xen hiccupped and farted at the same time. Normally he would have said “excuse me,” but not today.

  “What’s happening?” I moaned.

  “Must … get … out of here,” Owen said as he bent over and held his stomach.

  My arms and legs locked up. I felt like a skinny robot who had been rusted solid. None of us could move. Mindy tried to dial her phone while Owen moaned and Xen belched.

  I heard Mindy saying something into her phone and then my body quivered and everything went black.

  The last thing I remember was the sound of Owen retching.

  CHAPTER NINE

  The Awakening

  I would have slept for many more hours if it hadn’t been for the wet tongue of a wild suburban dog. Our city was filled with them and they often snuck into the school looking for food. One was now licking my face, and when I tried to shoo him away I realized there was more than one dog.

  I sat up, panicked, and tried to figure out where I was. I definitely wasn’t at home in my own bed. I was still in the dark kitchen surrounded by three sleeping Geeks and a dozen dogs who were licking our arms and faces.

  “Get up!” I politely ordered my friends. “Mindy, Owen, Xen!”

  All three began to stir and then scream as they realized that they were getting licked by stray dogs. I grabbed a broom next to one of the refrigerators and started shooing. Xen and Mindy joined me in the struggle, but Owen kept sleeping.

  I stepped on his hand to gently let him know we needed his help.

  We worked as a team to shoo the animals out of the kitchen. It wasn’t that hard, since they all wanted to run off and look for something less combative to lick. Once they were gone, Xen asked, “Why are we still here?”

  “The last thing I remember is feeling sick,” I said.

  “It’s gotta be way past curfew,” Owen said. “Why didn’t anyone come looking for us?”

  “I think I called my mom,” Mindy said. “Maybe I told her I was having a sleepover. Actually I can’t remember anything I said.”

  “Well, it definitely wasn’t ‘come and rescue us,’” I pointed out.

  Because of government curfews, and Fanatics, and power outages, and, well, life, people can’t always get home on time. I try to tell my parents where I am, but they know I’m a good hider and that I have sense enough to flee danger. Also, the government officials have said that nobody is worth looking for unless they’ve been missing for over a week.

  “Wait,” Mindy said. “Weren’t we covered in spider bites before?”

  “Splimp, I think I was.”

  We all looked at our arms and legs, and marveled at the fact that there were no longer any bite marks.

  “Maybe we dreamed everything that happened today,” Xen said. “I’ve had some really vivid dreams lately. I think it’s because the government puts things in our milk.”

  “You get milk?” Owen asked jealously.

  “Maybe we did dream everything,” Mindy suggested. “Maybe we never filled that piñata with grease and the whole school still loves us. Wait, they never did.”

  “That’s correct,” Xen said. “And taking assessment of my odor, I can still smell trace amounts of grease. And dog drool.”

  “I smell nothing,” Owen said while sniffing his right hand.

  “Maybe we should all stop sniffing ourselves and get home,” I suggested.

  “But it’s after curfew,” Mindy reminded us. “We shouldn’t be on the streets.”

  Like the rest of the country, the city of Piggsburg has an eight o’clock curfew. The government attempts to keep us safe. Also at eight, electricity is shut off, cars are not allowed on the roads, and packs of angry Fanatics take to the streets in large groups. The nighttime reminds them of when they first saw the horribly disappointing third movie. It’s like every night is an anniversary of anger and disappointment. They hit the town in mad cliques that everyone else tries to avoid. Even the government has given up on the Fanatics. They’ve tried to stop them, but it always ends in riots. So the officials stay off the streets between eight and midnight and let the Fan
atics work out their frustrations on their own. It might seem strange to the other places on earth, but we are under Marsha Law, and that’s because the leader of the Fanatics in Piggsburg is a girl named Marsha Ledbetter.

  She speaks only in emojis, and all Fanatics do whatever she does. She has millions of followers on social media. She is also the president of the Sand Throwers fan club. She was the first Fanatic to wear three bands on her leg. The bands represent the three books, and every true Fanatic now wears things in threes—three bands, three belts, three shirts. I’ve seen Marsha twice in person, and each time it was terrifying. I have no desire to go out into the neighborhood and accidentally run into her.

  “So let’s stay here at school,” I said. “Mindy, can I use your phone to call my parents?”

  “It’s dead. Where’s yours?”

  We all looked at the metal cabinet that we had pushed back into place.

  “I dropped it in there when I was running for my life.”

  “You have to get it,” Xen said.

  “I know I should. Just last week my dad lost his while the networks were down, and he tried texting by catapult.”

  Cell phones are different these days. Before the collapse of everything, there was an overload of cell phones in the world. Some people had three of them, one for each hand and another to vibrate in their pocket to remind them they were popular. Since the world went wacko, most cities have tried to provide some spotty Wi-Fi so that people can still communicate. The Wi-Fi doesn’t always work, but it’s free. I got my phone three months ago. My dad traded a loaf of bread and a bike tire for it. It isn’t a great phone, but I like it. It has some of my important notes about scientific formulas stored in it, as well as a few dirty jokes.

  And

  Owen and Xen helped me move the pots and pans cabinet out from the wall. The three of us stared at the dark opening as if it was the portal to a very uneasy realm.

  I suggested Owen go in and get my phone, but he declined.

  “I’ll do it,” Mindy volunteered.

  She walked into the dark and came out twenty seconds later with my phone.

  It was dead, and since all the electricity was off for the night, there was no way for us to charge it.

  “Let’s get to my home so I can check in with my parents,” I said. “Occasionally they wonder where I am.”

  We left the cafeteria and made our way through the Goth section of WADD. Their area was in Z Hall, and it seemed more unsettling at night than it did during the day.

  “It’s a shame the Goths aren’t here,” I said. “They’d love how creepy this place is now.”

  WADD was even more dreary and dystopian-looking in the dark. The school was beat-up and in ill repair, and darkness made all the imperfections seem scarier.

  “I think our school is plenty unsettling all the time,” Owen said.

  When we got to the security hole, it was wide open and unmanned. A cool steady breeze flowed in.

  We quickly climbed out of the hole and ran across the street.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Attacked

  Years ago, our neighborhood looked like the kind of place you’d see in a movie where kids were growing up with ordinary problems. But now it was completely different. Almost everyone had built walls around their homes or put up small guard towers on their roofs. People’s lawns were overgrown and in disarray. There were a few houses where the owners tried to keep things groomed because they felt that even during a time of crisis they should still maintain a nice yard.

  The problem with keeping things nice was that angry Fanatics, random thugs, or marauding animals never paid attention to where they were going. They would all trample lawns, gardens, anything that was in their way. Plus, people enjoyed shooting government drones down for sport. So yards were also littered with drone wreckage.

  At the moment, Elm Street, the road in front of our school, was deserted.

  “What time is it?” I asked Xen.

  “Looking at the placement of the stars, it’s eleven forty-seven,” he answered.

  We kept to the edges of the roads to hide among the shadows of trees and bushes. I continued to feel odd and more out of sorts than usual. My head felt heavy and then light again. My toes felt loose in my shoes. I kept glancing at my fingers to see if they were still attached to my hands.

  “Does anyone else feel really strange?” I asked.

  “I have my whole life,” Owen replied.

  When I explained what I meant, everyone admitted that they were also suffering similar symptoms. I wasn’t sure, but something about those spider bites had changed me. As society had broken down, some animals and insects had started to act differently. A man on our block was bitten by a cat, and now the guy could only speak Chinese. Some blamed the extra radiation in the air from the drones. We didn’t know what may have happened to the green goo in that tin can.

  We came to a thick cement wall right next to a convenience store called Open When It’s Safe. The store was small and it was only open when things seemed partially safe. It made all of us very uneasy to see that it was closed.

  “Listen,” I whispered as we stood with our backs pressed tightly against the cement wall. “We were bitten by spiders, right?”

  Everyone nodded.

  “And now we feel different,” I went on. “I don’t want to freak anyone out, but doesn’t that remind you of someone?”

  “Mr. Karl?” Xen asked.

  Mr. Karl was the shop teacher. He had been bitten by a wolf last year and had to have his leg amputated, which is a better-than-average way of saying it was chopped off.

  “No,” I said. “Spider-Man! He was bitten by a spider and then he had all kinds of superpowers. Maybe we have some sort of power now.”

  “I hope so,” Owen said excitedly.

  Owen turned around and attempted to climb the cement wall. When that didn’t work, he tried to jump really high, but he couldn’t get more than two inches off the ground.

  “See if you can shoot web!” Xen said.

  Owen held his arms out and tried as hard as he could to shoot webbing from his wrists. After a couple of minutes, he gave up and hung his head in disappointment.

  “Try your butt,” Xen suggested. “That’s more like a real spider.”

  “Okay, maybe we’re not Spider-Man,” I conceded. “But something’s happening to us.”

  “Yeah,” Mindy agreed. “We’re stuck out on the streets at midnight hoping to make it home without getting arrested or attacked and knowing that if we do actually get home, tomorrow is going to probably be worse than today. I just—”

  “Hold on,” Owen interrupted. “Someone’s coming.”

  “What?” I asked. “There’s no one around.”

  “I hear a big group of Fanatics.”

  “I don’t hear anything,” Mindy said. “And I have perfect hearing.”

  “Well, you might want to have it checked because they’re on Bleak Street, two blocks over and about a mile to the east.”

  We all stared at Owen.

  “Are you kidding?” I asked.

  “Splimp, don’t you guys know when I’m being serious? I can hear them.”

  “That’s impossible,” Mindy insisted.

  “Actually”—Xen spoke up—“the human ear is capable of discerning sound from miles away if the conditions are just right.”

  “Thanks, Xen,” Mindy whispered sarcastically. “Everyone knows that.”

  “It’s pretty late for Fanatics to be out en masse,” I told Owen. “Are you sure?”

  “Well, I’m telling you, it’s a big group.”

  “And you think they’re coming this way?” I asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Then let’s go,” Mindy insisted. “Come on.”

  As Mindy said “come on,” she clapped for emphasis. At that instant, one of the windows on the front of the Open When It’s Safe store cracked, and the glass shattered with a terrifying noise.

  We all ducked and scre
amed.

  I looked up for a drone that might have dropped something, but the night sky was too dark to tell.

  “Did someone throw a rock?” Xen asked.

  “Um,” Mindy whispered. “I think I might have done that.”

  Mindy clapped again and a second window on the front of the shop began to crack.

  The glass popped and shattered. I covered my ears and closed my eyes as glass rained down on the sidewalk in front of the store. The bars over the windows were still in place, but the window glass was gone.

  “That’s incredible,” I said.

  “Superpowers!” Xen offered with excitement. “Positively out of this world. I wonder what I can do?”

  Xen clapped a few times, but nothing happened. He put his hand to his ear to see if he could hear anything far away, but the disappointed look on his face made it clear that he couldn’t. He tried to jump high, he tried to climb the wall, and he even tried to fly—all with no luck.

  “Stop messing around, Xen,” Owen scolded. “We need to keep moving before the Fanatics arrive.”

  “This stinks,” Xen complained. “I was bitten as many times as you and Mindy.”

  “Let’s worry about that later,” Mindy said.

  “Fine,” Xen pouted. “If that’s how it is. And so what? Breaking windows is not much of a superpower. It’s probably just a coincidence. Or maybe someone threw a rock and broke it.”

  “What about Owen’s hearing?” Mindy argued.

  “Well, we’re just taking his word for that,” Xen said. “We don’t know that he really heard anything.”

  “Um, maybe that will help you believe me.”

  Owen was pointing up Elm Street, to where a large group of girl Fanatics was marching down the road. As they got closer, we heard them chanting and hollering.

  If they spotted us, they would talk or tear us to shreds—or post embarrassing pictures of us. I had been attacked before, and it wasn’t fun.